Faith and Mental Illness…. My journey

Bismillah.

When people hear the word “illness”, they often think of diseases affecting the body. Others think of disorders affecting the mind. But the Qur’an directs our attention to another kind of illness—one that is far more dangerous because it affects our relationship with Allah and our eternal life.

It is the illness of the heart.

Allah says:

“In their hearts is a disease, so Allah has increased their disease…” (Qur’an 2:10)

This disease is not depression. It is not anxiety. It is not schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, or any other mental illness. The disease Allah refers to is a spiritual disease: hypocrisy, arrogance, envy, hatred, insincerity, and turning away from His guidance.

As someone living with schizoaffective disorder, this distinction has become deeply meaningful to me.

There have been times when my mind has become unwell. My thoughts have become disordered. My perception of reality has been affected. These are symptoms of a medical condition. They are not a measure of my faith, nor do they determine my standing with Allah.

My illness affects my mind.

It does not have to define my heart.

Alhamdulillah, I ask Allah every day to keep my heart firm upon His religion. I cannot claim that my heart is pure, because only Allah truly knows what lies within it. But I ask Him to protect it from the diseases that distance a person from Him.

The Prophet ﷺ would often supplicate:

“O Turner of the hearts, keep my heart firm upon Your religion.” (Jami’ al-Tirmidhi 2140)

If the Messenger of Allah ﷺ made this du’a regularly, then how much more are we in need of it?

Looking Back at Allah’s Favour

When I reflect on my life, I cannot help but see Allah’s favour everywhere.

I was born in 1990, the year Somalia descended into civil war. Yet Allah decreed that I would not be raised amidst that devastation. He protected me and brought me up in Australia.

He blessed me with an Islamic education from a young age. Looking back, I now realise what an immense blessing that was. Many people spend years searching for knowledge of their religion, while Allah placed me in an environment where I learned the Qur’an, the Sunnah, and the foundations of Islam from childhood.

He entrusted me to two loving parents who did everything they could for me. He surrounded me with caring siblings and a large extended family who stood beside me during the darkest moments of my life, especially when my mental illness left me vulnerable and in need of support.

He blessed me with a patient and loving husband.

He blessed me with beautiful children who are among the greatest joys of my life.

He blessed me with imparting sincere knowledge to my students in my many years as a primary school teacher.

When I count these blessings, I realise that Allah has always favoured me.

Yes, I have experienced hardship. I have lived through postnatal psychosis, trauma, the loss of my daughter, and recurrent episodes of schizoaffective disorder.

But hardship does not erase Allah’s blessings.

Rather, it exists alongside them.

Allah says:

“Indeed, with hardship comes ease. Indeed, with hardship comes ease.”(Qur’an 94:5–6)

I believe with certainty that nothing in the heavens or the earth can benefit me or harm me except by the permission of Allah. Whatever He decrees is with perfect wisdom, even when I cannot yet understand it.

Allah says:

“Nothing will ever befall us except what Allah has decreed for us. He is our Protector.”(Qur’an 9:51)

Every trial I have endured was written long before I was born.

It was never a punishment merely because it was painful.

Rather, I hope it is among the tests through which Allah raises His believing servants.

The Illness That Truly Matters

A person may have a healthy body and a brilliant mind while carrying a heart filled with arrogance, envy, hatred, pride, or hypocrisy.

Likewise, a person may live with severe mental illness while possessing a heart full of sincerity, patience, gratitude, and reliance upon Allah.

The illness of the mind is difficult.

The illness of the heart is far more dangerous if it is left untreated.

Allah reminds us:

“The Day when neither wealth nor children will benefit, except one who comes to Allah with a sound heart.”(Qur’an 26:88–89)

That verse gives me hope.

It reminds me that Allah is not judging me by a diagnosis. He knows my struggles better than anyone. He sees my efforts, my intentions, my repentance, and my desire to worship Him despite the challenges I face.

One of the du’as I hold close is

“Our Lord, grant us from among our spouses and offspring comfort to our eyes and make us leaders for the righteous.”(Qur’an 25:74)

My greatest aspiration is not simply to have a healthy mind.

It is to meet Allah with a sound heart.

O Allah, You have favoured me more times than I can count. I ask You to keep my heart steadfast upon Your religion until the day I meet You. Heal those whose minds are afflicted, heal those whose bodies are ill, and above all, purify our hearts from every spiritual disease.

Amin.